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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?